26/11/15

I am stirred. My passions are swirling. It is a devastating tornado on the horizon, quickening with each breath I take. I am in awe of its power; raw unrefined, unapologetic, an all-encompassing voracious monster. Boundless. Beautiful in its destructive terror. Dwarfing its definition.

I love Amaryllis. I have done for some months now. She inspires me in many beautiful ways; the ways of love. The suppression of the erotic though-not so much. I want and need to fuck. Freely. Without restriction or externally influenced restraint. For that, my partner needs to be on the same page. Physically I’m not inspired. That’s been apparent but has been overridden by the electricity between us from the beginning which hasn’t subsided. I don’t see myself being inspired to initiate and devour as I have with other women. Her discomfort with her body exacerbates this. I can feel it. My tan tien is unresponsive, even if my heart and mind are.